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You're from Interpol, aren't you?
Contest ended 3 years ago 3/21/2012 12:00:00 AM EDT

Contest Info

  • Cost: 2 credits
  • Jackpot: 50 credits

Contest Options


Regarding you request for information about Dolerance, note the following:

- It is our policy to respond promptly to all requests for information.

- We are not responsible for the accuracy of the information that we provide, although every effort is made to fact-check our assertions.

- Information that may have changed, is changing, or may change is flagged below with a reference followup code.

The subject of your request, "Dolerance," is classifed as State 4 Stage 3 Premium Archive #12948FSK w/q data.

"Dolerance" is in accord with Pros. Threwu. 2253.

Summary: More than 38. Left hemisphere. Clottish. Rolling, but with corners.

For additional information on "Dolerance," reference report PF345Y/2.

Thank you.

Word count: 109
Second Place
# 2
By joem18b (Score: 7.278)

Hi. Thanks for your query about Dolerance. Information about Dolerance is strictly controlled on the Internet. Congratulations on seeking to learn more about this landmark social-media tool.

We're not formally connected to Dolerance here, but we can tell you enough about it to whet your appetite for more and to give you a leg up on your quest.

Are you lonely? Then don't give up until you connect with a Dolerance professional! He or she will guide you to an exciting and fulfilling new life.

Dolerance uses a battery of tests to measure certain of your personal characteristics with respect to how strongly they will influence a woman's tolerance of you as a possible mate, or at least for possible mating. It's called "Dolerance" because the female-response matrix is calibrated to correspond to the personality of the average "doll." The assumption is that you're only interested in babes.

Although we can't help you with a direct connection to Dolerance, we are authorized to tell you that if you do a Google search for the term, you will get one useful hit on a page in the 3,500 - 4,500 range.

Note: Dolerance is illegal in 37 states.

Word count: 196
Third Place
# 3
By joem18b (Score: 7.157)

Hi and thanks for your question about "dolerance."

Dolerance (from the root word Dollar) is a type of grief or sadness experienced only by the 1%.

For example, you might feel sad when your cat dies, whereas a one-percenter would feel dolerance when his or her menagerie suffers a virus that wipes out his or her complete herd of rare African oryx.

Or, you might feel grief when your house and mortgage go "under water," whereas a one-percenter would feel dolerance when his or her private island is obliterated by a volcano.

The good news is, you will never suffer from dolerance.

Word count: 102

Dear Web Visitor:

It's a good thing we have interns, or your question "What is Dolerance?" would have gone right into the trash bucket. What, you've never heard of Google? What's the matter with you? Don't waste our time! Intern, take this thing.

Hi, Web Visitor. My name is Robin. I'm an intern here and I've been asked to respond to your email. Please don't think that I'll be making my living doing this. I'm only here to get one more entry on my resume before going for a real job. As a senior intern here, I'm turning you over now to what we call our "runt intern."

Hi. My name is Fred. I just got here today and you are my first person to help. Well, I did get everybody coffee already, so I guess that counts as help don't it? I get my own computer to use too hopefully next week. One thing I can tell you is the bus ride over here is murder! I might not bother to go home! Oops the maintenance man needs me to help in the bathroom. Peace out.

Word count: 187
By joem18b (Score: 5.444)

Dear Friend,

Thanks for writing to ask about Dolerance. We are pleased to respond.

Dolerance is a building siding of outstanding beauty. Using a secret dolerite formula, the siding will make you think your house is protected by a faience of special aspect.

You've no doubt heard the pitches of innumerable aluminum-siding salesmen. Listen no more. With a house clad in Dolerance, you can forget exterior painting and stucco chores forever.

We don't sell Dolerance here but we've forwarded your email address to our brother-in-law. He'll be contacting you shortly.

Your friends on the website

Word count: 96
By joem18b (Score: 5.403)

Dear Sir or Madam,

Thank you for your recent query with regard to {Dolerance}.

We aim to respond to all requests for information in a timely and comprehensive manner.

Please provide us with the following information so that we can best meet your data requirements:

1. Current address

2. Email address

3. Gender

4. Race

5. Age

5. Annual income

6. Most recent online purchase

7. Have you been convicted of a felony?

8. Do you like fruit?

Thank you.

Word count: 80
By joem18b (Score: 5.132)

Hi. Thanks for asking about dolerance.

Most popular meanings:

1. Ability of a toy to withstand harsh treatment by a child who sets fires, wets the bed, and tortures pets.

2. Ability of a victim to withstand harsh treatment by a man who as a child set fires, wet the bed, and tortured pets.

3. Ability of the attorney defending a man who as a child set fires, wet the bed, and tortured pets to withstand harsh treatment by the media during the trial.

4. Ability of a man who as a child set fires, wet the bed, and tortured pets to withstand the harsh treatment by a publishing company negotiating for the book rights to his story.

5. Ability of a publishing company who won the rights to the story of a man who as a child set fires, wet the bed, and tortured pets to withstand the harsh treatment by Oprah.

Word count: 153

Hello, Reader.

My name is John and I answer the questions around here. Thanks for asking about dolerance.

Dolerance is a philosophy/psychology think wherein you think or feel a certain way.

For example, suppose I said "You can't tolerate religion but you can dolerate it." This would mean that while religion bugs you and you just can't stand it, yet still for whatever reason in your mind, you can dolerate it.

Or supposed that I said, "Because you don't eat meat, you can dolerate." This would mean that your brain, for whatever reason, lacking the stuff in meat, would dolerate.

Hope this helps!

Word count: 103

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